Thursday, November 10, 2005

How to pick up chicks 

If you're into taking advice from magazines or 'scientific studies', then apparently you could do worse than asking for sex directly from a woman. Okay, so you won't exactly do well, but you're more likely to succeed than if you tell her that heaven must be missing an angel. However, it seems the way to go is slightly more subtle:

"...talk your way into their hearts by saying, ‘It's hot today, isn't it? It's the best weather when you're training for a marathon'... Another winner, the researchers found, was to steer the conversation towards music and say: ‘The Moonlight Sonata or, to give it its true name, Sonata quasi una fantasia. A fittingly beautiful piece for a beautiful lady."

Now I find these lines pretty disgusting, and can't imagine any natural situation in which they would be fitting, but I probably would be rather charmed if someone came up to me in the winter snow and said the first, or in a rock club and delivered the latter. Perhaps that's just my taste for twisted humour... (The humour of incongruity, no less...)

The study found that the best lines display some combination of athleticism, education, culture and wit, and an ability to be in control of situations. So maybe the way to pick up women is to quote a bit of Blackadder - "Am I pleased to see you, or did I just a put a canoe in my pocket? Oh hang on, it's a canoe, because I'm on my university water sports team and like to be ready at all times - fancy a shag?"

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